South african plus size blogger, black mellennial dating blogger

No, I don't want to chat with you on WhatsApp, stranger.

South african plus size blogger, black mellennial dating blogger

South african plus size blogger
Thrifted jacket, Pep dress, New Balance shoes
My phone, my WhatsApp, to be specific, has not known peace since I started my current job. The company is much bigger than any I've previously worked for and we have quite a bit of inter-departmental activity. Not to mention the fact that it's an always-on kind of environment. I'm a part of two work WhatsApp groups, practically everyone has my number. If not, they can get it from the contact sheet that's shared widely. At my most recent "previous job" I'd didn't have anyone's number, nor Slack or the work email installed on my phone. 

This is all to illustrate just how out of control my inner communication world currently is. My block hand has always been swift so just having my number wasn't a guarantee that you will have access to me or be able to send me bible verses or small talk. Nah. It's because of this control I favour when it comes to who can phone me (I answer like five numbers) that I find men on dating sites wanting to immediately -- like a "Hud" in -- move to WhatsApp or other intimate platforms very suspect. Like why, Jabu?

When I have matched with these app abandoners, the first thing they say other that a directionless "hi" is the demand that I move the non-conversation to another platform.

While I'm primarily swiping these days, OKCupid also wasn't exempt from men behaving this way, the reasoning I've heard most has been, "I'm not on this app/website often." First of all, neither am I! I don't spend my days and nights swiping and just waiting. No, I take all that wasted time and energy to Twitter. Secondly, why are so many men comfortable and confident  in telling me that they don't want to put in my same effort of checking whichever app however many times a month to see if there are new matches or messages? In the words of Diane Johnson, "Boy bye."

Aside from preferring my Whatsapp clutter-free, this is just too much effort to go to for a stranger; wes ke knowing that the chat will fizzle within hours. Abeg, go bore someone else. We haven't gone anywhere, we likely wouldn't have gone anywhere and already you are telling me you can't make that small effort? Let's rather not.

About a week ago, I broke my own rule of leaving men on read when they suggest going to WhatsApp. He was cute and I was that bored. (I've broken this parti ular rule a few memorable, albeit wasted times.) We chatted twice, the last message is from me and has one tick. Again in the words of Diane, "Trust your gut Diane!" I know what I know and I like what I like, it's one of the few, true things I can count on.

What zero to 100 move have people pulled on you or have you pulled on a dating site? For the latter, this is a safe space.