Body positive compliments, fat positive compliments, how to compliment fat people, south african plus size blogger, plus size blogger

10 actual compliment to give to fat people!

"No, you are beautiful!" Is not a compliment. It's also rooted in trying to soothe the feelings of thin people who swear that they "feel" fat and has been applied to fat people without consideration about how beauty standards and fatphobia manifest in our lives. So instead of cutting a fatty off because you want to reassure them that they are not fat, they are in fact, INSTEAD, beautiful. Don't.

Firstly, in identifying as fat, I don't care if it makes you uncomfortable or makes you cringe to hear me use the word to describe my body. I'm just happy to be at this point in my life where I recognise that my body is okay and it was never holding me back.

I don't enjoy body snark, even when you think it's "positive" and plenty other people don't too. Things like "you've lost weight," "you look thinner" are not flattering and they absolutely do not matter to me as weight loss is not something I'm striving for. It's the opposite of my politics. I'm not even sorry but I won't compliment you when you are talking about losing weight. Do you, don't involve me.

There is then the group of people who do acknowledge that people can be fat and cute but instead of saying just "hey, you are so cute!" They put too much weight into a simple selfie. Suddenly your cheeky selfie is heavy with meaning that some person decided to heap on it. Gasping and awarding a medal to fat people when you see us existing in ways you never thought we could (confident, wearing clothes, in love, happy and single) is part of the problem.

So instead of calling a fat person "inspiring" and "brave" for daring to exist in their fat body freely, or telling them they aren't fat but rather beautiful, here are a few actual compliments you could give us about our looks.

Nomali from Soweto, south african lifestyle blog, plus size blogger, plus size leopard print coat

1. You are stylish

2. You look great in that/today

3. I like how you put together clothes

4. I would never have thought to combine those items/makeup colours!

5. You've inspired me to try [fill in the item of clothing]

6. I would buy [item of clothing] if you were the one modelling it!

7. You've helped me change how I talk about bodies

8. [An infinite number of flame emojis under our pics]

9. You are beautiful (but not as a counter about the person being fat!).

10. Omg, where did you get that?! (But not in the Regina George way.)

Also, sometimes maybe be quiet? I've  been around countless people, especially at work, who need to fill the silence and end up saying nonsense. Let's just leave it at "Yaaas, wena moghel!"

What other body positive compliments about appearance do you enjoy?