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Fat-acceptance is not a destination. I always think that these are my best days body love-wise but then I catch myself at an angle in the mirror at my work toilet and I mutter something like “wtf, stomach?” I have accepted those days as part of the package. Maybe it would be great to be able to live without any doubt regarding my fat body. (No maybe about it, tbh.) But this doubt says, in a small way, that I’m human. Even with that lapse, I still believe I am a good person and that my body as it looks is a good body to be in. Even with my belly doing the most.

In January, I wore quite a few crop tops. Three in total and shared pictures on Instagram (calling the act “Croptober in January” after the bbz Kgomotso) and it was nice. This particular crop top though, featured in my about me page when I was, admittedly a little smaller back in March (or so) 2015, hasn’t gotten much play. Maybe it’s because of the way it’s designed in the arm-area with those useless “cold shoulder” holes. Maybe it’s because its fringes expose more belly.

When I wore it, I styled it in a way that had my VBO out, which wasn’t an intentional choice on my part but one I didn’t regret when I saw. I don’t have a belt (when can I cop???) my jeans sometimes rolled down on the sides and I found myself grateful for the shrug I had decided to wear. This was more a jeans problem than it was a crop top one, but aren’t cruel people making gifs and videos of fat people readjusting themselves into their clothes? Isn’t that why the “longer top + tunics” rule is pushed on us as tweens?
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Read about my fat acceptance journey (so far) here and the great feeling of finding jeans clothes that work here

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It's awkward that you are so mad about some radom fat girl, bro.

This day wasn’t bad at all. I told a total of ONE man to go tell their mother. His this was “you must exercise” to be worthy of showing my belly, I guess. But this was a generally positive experience overall and I’m glad I wore this crop top. I might even work on the arm hole thing to make it more comfortable.
Also related, once I saw a woman coming out of a car in a dress so short it could have been a tunic, and realised that it must be such a great feeling getting dressed without having Noord at the back of your head.

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