(More like Fat Girl Window Shopping, tbh)

On the second of February I went to a mall to do a sim swap (a phone-related procedure to you, internash readers) and I tried on a lot of clothes. Turned out they couldn't do my phone thing because I forgot my green book. Here's a likely to not be at all interesting look back at that Monday and the clothes I  tried on.  I quickly realised that the old telkom shop was now home to an etolls/etag service centre and that a million months ago, when I was last in the building, the old 8ta store was being revamped. It seemed wasteful to make my way directly to the new store so I popped into a few shops along the way.

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While I was window shopping at Mr P I just kept thinking of fathlesuire and how much fat women would rock it. Casual clothes made to look like work out clothes aren't in my size. Actual workout clothes I'd wear mostly as casual clothes are also not in my size and are way ugly. I tried on two skirts, shorts and about fifty-eleven tops at Mr P.  The one skirt I've wanted for months, here's  der Khensani wearing it in white. The size 14 fit me just not the way I'd hoped and it looked weird. I think It would have been bomb if it came in an 18 or my actual size (currently unknown). I also tried on a grey tube skirt and learnt I'm not a tube skirt sort of person. It had lines on the sides, a total nod to tracksuits, and my total consumption with "fathleisure  while in that shop continued. I tried on a vest with tassels that read "who cares?" and I kept repeating "definitely not this girl with the skipa asking who cares" in my head. Another was a layered spaghetti crop situation. I actually didn't mind it at all. Would have bought if I had money to back my tendency to buy on impulse. Walking once through the "plus" aisle, which is actually ONE AISLE, brought me up to speed with the latest in half-arsed fashion for the fat woman.

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I've never rated Truworths. Like, I have jokes about Muvhango's KK, his suits and the clothes on Idols. Dassit. Truworths has always meant shiny, with zero style and hella expensive to me. A giant, red SALE sign led me to a Truworths off shoot called Ginger Mary, or something. They have prints on prints and stuff that costs five hundred even though it's on sale. MAJAH side eye. The clothes were cute. Mostly not my style and not in my size. But very Erykah Badu meets whoever.

I went into the store next door (the Main Truworths) and pored over a sale rack for a good fifteen minutes. It's here that I realised that I'm actually over the kimono and have zero desire to ever own one now. I felt the basic seeping out of me. Farra Gott I'm healed. It's on this rack, lol, that I discovered a brand called Hey Betty (must google, remind me) and I like it. I'm not very sure but I think it goes up to a size 18 (could have wider sizing). I tried on three things:  navy-with-white-hearts shorts (and twerked a lot in them), I also tried on a floral skirt and a sleeveless, sweater material crop top with 'california' branded on the front. I liked the shorts a lot but just don't see myself buying them for the 170. I'm such a cheapie. Thing is, I wonder what the usual price range for the Hey Betty brand is there and about the sizing. Please be good news. 

I was physically put off buy the donna claire. Like, there was only one thing I could see myself buying. A black, button up sheer shirt dress situation w/o a slip. I was bored and saddned by the total black out of the clothes. Look, I'm trying to black out my own wardrobe because I'm a lame and pretentious person like that. NOT BECAUSE SOME LOSER RECKONS BLACK MAKES FAT WOMEN LOOK ACCEPTABLY FAT. And that's the vibe the store gave me. Let me repeat the obvious: it's expensive.

I also walked in and out of the Edgars and the Markham stores. Markham has really cute shorts, similar to the ones I tried on at Mr P. Both instances made me question what fat South African men wear. I've always wondered because the Men's section at Mr P is my favourite but clothes haven't been going past my thighs for a while. Yes, my reasons for caring are clearly selfish but still. Fat boys, what are you wearing in this dire landscape? I miss wearing boys' shorts, hook me up.

At Legit I tried on this skirt and dress (sized  16 and 14 respectively.) 

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Though Superman is my bae, I've owned quite a bit of Batman-related stuff. The dress would be a welcome addition in my life but it seemed to be the only one in the whole store, which was strange. The dress is the same sweater material as the 'california' crop from Truworths. I saw myself wearing it a lot in the autumn with boots I'm yet to thrift and my one jean jacket. I also saw myself talking a selfie in it and writing a post called "Save Your Self" on this blog. If  you're still looking for anything in the Nandi range (such as the Kimono and the heels said to have sold out) hit southgate up.

By the time I entered Jet my shoes were hurting me like a mofo and I wasn't in the humourous mood with which I'd begun my little window shopping, I mean sim swap, excursion to da mall. It got bad fast. I saw a really cute biker-style jean jacket in what I imagine is network and fugly everything in Donatella.

My first time inside the dischem at southgate mall was disappointing. It was supposed to be black girl mecca but all there was was treseme, cashews and sarie magazine. Ugh. Where are all the good dischems? Lead me to the promised land, darling reader.

This might turn into a bit of a series but my dislike for malls might get in the way of the series prospering. I also get discouraged by the fact that it seems no fat South African women are keen to discuss clothes with me, which makes these rants totes eloquent and structured posts I write about fat fashion, fat acceptance, body positivity et plus in South Africa scarce. If I do make into a series I'll try to bring my camera along, twerk less and take more pictures of me in the things.

Have you been window shopping lately? Did you slay the end of season/post-christmas sales like the frugal boss you are? Tell me all about it.