29 January 2014

The Running Shoe

I have mentioned before that the only personal resolution I have this year is to be kinder to myself. This, of course, has all sorts of connotations and components one of which is fitness and general health. I've slacked hard in the last two years. Granted, I'm not a super jock or gym bunny by nature (I'm open to getting converted) but I had managed to get some sort of fitness regime going. That is, until I walked away from the wagon and stuff.

In preparation to tackle this part of my self-care//being kinder to ME goal I've been looking at a lot of fitness gear. Think sports bras, shoes and bottoms. I'm not even going to talk to you about how jaw-droppingly (yup, just made that a thing) expensive sports bras are. Lark, am I supposed to sell my kidney in order to ensure that my tattas stay put while I attempt to jog? Son.


I've divided the shoes I found (on Zando because their mobile site is probably the most user-friendly mobile shopping site in the land) into three piles:

1. The cheapest pair, which still looks like it'll get the job done and doesn't look to shabby:

 This is the Nike Flex 2012 Running Shoes Multi and it's R535.00. IT doesn't look too shabby at all.

2. The expensive pair. This speaks for itself.

This pair is called the Nike Zoom Vomero +8 Trainers Pink and at R1,400.00 is shit expensive. Period.

3. The so cute, I probably even won't wear them running pairs.

Puma Faas 300 Trainers Purple

Nike Free Advantage Running Shoes Green

Need I say more on this matter? I think not. These babies are phly and would look great with some jeans or a dress on nothing else.

I didn't buy any of these -- will probably use my old (current) cheapo shoes for a while after a sports bra bankrupts me. 

PS: I'm disgusted by how blurry these images are. Spitting. 

27 January 2014

Music Monday | January 2014

January is my birthday month, as you may know. Around this time I always have the most incredible crises known to woman. I question everything and criticise even more -- all of which is rooted in  what am I doing with this life? The answers are never pretty or fair. Am I disappointed in myself and where I am at this point in my life? Yes. Yes. Have I done amazingly, well, with what I've had to work with? Absolutely. Do I still beat myself up regardless? Yup. But this birthday month's beatings weren't as bad as they have been in the past because the one personal resolution I have is to be kinder to myself.

13 January 2014


Dear 21-year Old Nomali,

During the year of 21 you will make plans and beat yourself up when they aren't met.

You'll be told you're now old enuf, finally, but you'll feel too old and worn. We've been at it way before we were old enuf, before we knew things but because we've been doing it all this time it must mean we were ready at 17. You'll question whether we're enuf for our mother's child if all our moody and sad and not all that self-loving is enough to carry and build her.
You'll worry about money and check in the mirror if the starving and not eating enough has made any difference to our waistline. You'll miss our mother.

You'll choose us twice. You'll choose to save us in the face of conflict. When our first job's heaviness and the barely meeting ends cease to be worth it you'll choose our sanity and leave. You'll question if you made the correct decision for everyone involved - particularly our sister - but you'll stand by the decision.

When the boy we loved recklessly at 17 comes back with words like butter and arms that promise an end to the loneliness you'll turn him away and once again save us. You'll choose our sanity. You'll often wonder if we're as ugly as the loneliness feels, whether all the conflict and bleeding and not good-enough we feel inside is how we look on the outside. If we're as ugly on the outside as the empty we carry around on the inside suggests we may be. You'll long for the comfort and companionship of having a friend. You crave and sometimes lie shaking as our body needs the comfort and passion of a lover who is willing to look at all our not perfect.

You'll remember that we come from warrior women, from laughter and from winning. You'll smile and find a dark-skinned man with a camera a few oceans away and think of all the ways we could love him and colour his world all the while he doesn't even know our name. You'll say his name in the dark because you're a silly, romantic girl. Then when you're ready, when the dream has served its purpose you'll let that stranger go too.

You'll do your best with our mother's child. You'll do your best. You'll never be confused about our inherent goodness and smarts and talent. I wish I'd helped you see it more, helped you feel that you're enough, that you're talented and worthy. Of it all. You'll wake up on our 22nd birthday and feel... You'll feel and it's OK.

With love,


10 January 2014

Wearing Clothes While Fat | #LiveThruThis

I've had this post on my mind for the longest time but, as we all know, too often I either don't have the words or I let the laziness take over. I just figured that this is my blarg and seeing as this is one of my lived experiences as a fat woman I might as well put this here.

If I had a person they'd tell you that the two things I dislike are people and shopping. My dislike of shopping is deeply rooted in spending at least one Saturday a month being dragged from shop to shop in Durban's city centre by my father's mother from the time I could walk. Then my mother later took on the baton and dragged my frowny face around Johannesburg's city centre until I was old enough to say "ma'am, no. I can't keep doing this." Also, shopping involves people, wearing trousers, small spaces and queues so it's a given the undertaking makes me uncomfortable.

4 January 2014

Review | A Facial Scrub

It’s a sweltering Johannesburg January mid-morning and I’ve just had my bath. It’s weird, I try not to do this – I either have my baths first thing in the morning or in the early evening as it cools down. Sorry not sorry. I just cannot deal with coming out dripping with sweat – baths are supposed to refresh and stuff.
Anyway. This particular bath marks the second time I’ve used the Clicks Aloe Vera & Omegas 3 + 6 Facial Scrub. I’m still quite confused and anxious when it comes to skincare things. I never really had many skin issues in high school (or at least not skin issues that bothered me much.) My skincare regime back then and much of the couple of years that followed was sunlight green bar soap and Vaseline – body lotion sometimes. And it worked for me. Somewhere, while I wasn’t paying attention my skin problems morphed from the monthly pimply rash on the forehead to a situation that needed me to think about masks, scrubbing, cleansing and all of that admin. I’m still quite upset that I now get pimples in other places, places that aren’t my forehead. On whose permission, body? Hhe, hormones?

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